Blue Sky and Hard Rock

So there I am, donning my favorite gray cardi and my new plaid shirt which my bestfriend gave me, and as usual, my mind is brimming with thoughts about things that could never be. Soon enough, my mom rudely pulls me out of my happy land and asks me if I wanted a party for my coming birthday. I stop, not knowing what to say.

The truth is that it completely slipped out of my mind that I'm having my birthday in a few days. I haven't even really thought about how I wanted to spend it. I guess it is true that as you get older, you are less inclined to get excited about the day you officially get a year older.

I never really thought I would become one of those women who worry about their age. My previous stance was to never worry about the prospect of getting old. Yet here I am, grappling with the fact that I am about to be 26, career-less still and with tons of unfinished lists in my hands - booklist, music list, travel list, list of languages I want to learn, list of things I want to do.

At this rate, I'm beginning to think I'm completely incapable of making something of myself. It's like I'm waiting to be some place wonderful so I can finally start my life when the fact is that my life had already started and I had horribly put up a wall against it. As a rule of life, it's a trap that many people fall into. Though, again, I never thought I'd be one of them.

I am a bit rattled. I think it is high time for me to stop dreaming of sweeping oceans and start sailing them instead.